The Boring Stuff

We’re not going to have endless pages of legalese, conditions and caveats. We want to make things as simple as possible for everyone. If you require and further explanations of anything, or think there’s anything we should say byt haven’t, please contact us.

Responsible use

The toys we produce are just for fun and should only be used that way. We take no responsibility for any damage you cause using them, that falls entirely on you.

All our ouchy stuff is, very strictly, for external use only. Much as they say “all publicity is good publicity” we don’t want to see the x-ray of anything of ours, that you’ve inserted into whatever orifice, on the news. Seriously, everything is external use only!

It goes without saying that everything should only ever be used under the condition of “Safe, Sane and Consensual” (SSC) and/or “Risk Aware Consensual Kink” (RACK).

That doesn’t mean you can’t hurt your ouchee with them, we absolutely hope you will. Just please always apply a healthy dose of common sense.

By purchasing, or using, any of our products you accept full responsibility for doing so. Ouchy Stuff take no responsibility at all for if you hurt anyone, in any way, whilst using any of our products. Use at your own risk.

Personal Privacy

If you chat to us in person, or we otherwise know who you are, we will always be totally discreet. Everyone in the scene should always be so. If we bump into you at church (yeah right, as if we go!) we might come and say hello but without anyone being wise to how we know you. We expect the similar in return.

Data Privacy

A lot of your data, specifically your credit card details, we don’t even get to see as that’s handled by the payment gateways. If you want to spoil us, and get us that new lamborghini, we’d like you to resort to the usual paper bag of cash hidden behind the bus stop.

We will have collected your contact details, as otherwise we can’t send you your ouchy pleasures, but we will NEVER share that information with ANYONE other than for delivery.

Similarly, if we have your email address from our mailing list, or as you’ve contacted us, we will NEVER pass that email on to anybody.

Discreet Postage

Anything we send will be discreetly packaged so that even your perverted postman won’t know you’re also a proud pervert.

Product Returns or Problems

If you have a problem with anything we sell please let us know immediately.

We test everything as thoroughly as we can, both on ouchy sub and with our testers. However, there is always the chance we’ve missed something. If your product breaks let us know. We will redesign it, if required, and provide you a replacement. If we decide the problem can’t be fixed we’ll refund your purchase.

Please be sensible with how you use your new toys in general. They are strong, stronger than you might realise, but at the end of the day plastic is plastic. If your spiky drumstick breaks as you’re using it with the force of a cricket bat hitting a six (well done!) that’s not really our fault.

We’ll also accept returns if you simply don’t like your product. However, in those cases we won’t refund the postage and return postage is on you. Sorry, but we are a really tiny operation and can’t afford to carry the postage costs.

Please be aware that if we have printed something as a custom print for you, for example something in a different colour filament, we will only refund your purchase if we are confident we will be able to sell it again to someone else.