Ouchy Sticks (pair)

Ouchy sticks, known elsewhere as “evil sticks”, look innocuous. Nothing special, we hear you say.

Oh boy, no! These are best described as “evil little fuckers”. Seriously, don’t underestimate how truly nasty these things are.

You place the stick parallel to the flesh, bend it back, let go, and wait for the yelp. They work especially well on muscles, like the front of the thighs.

They come as a pair. The stick only one will leave a delicious little stripe. The one with the ball is potentially the nastier of the two, and has been described as being a little like a depth charge … an initial hit of pain followed a second or so later by a small explosion. The resulting little bruise lasts for days.

The rods are carbon fibre and highly flexible. The thicker, 2mm rod bends safely to 90°, and the 1.5mm can pretty much bend back on itself. Do be sensible, as it is possible to bend them back to snapping point, but it takes a bit of doing, so we suggest the limit here.

Which thickness to get? They do feel different but are fairly similar. It mostly comes down to whether you prefer to pull it back a little or a lot, though maybe the 2mm version is a little easier to aim. To be honest, we simply don’t have a favourite.

We were introduced to these by the most evil Mistress we know, who absolutely delights in playing noughts and crosses (tic-tac-toe to some) on a subbie. Create the grid with the thin stick, then x2 of that for a cross and a nice hard twang with the ball for the nought. We’re not calling her cruel, but she doesn’t play to win, she wants the draw, as then the game lasts longer.